datestampThursday, January 22, 2009

...o.u.c.h... post due to some language, but not as much as what's going through my head.

I have a new motto as of this week. If it's not on my blog, it's none of your damn business.

I'm mad, sad, pissed off and hurt all at the same time. Maybe I am being too dramatic, but I feel wronged.

Someone started a rumor about me. An untrue rumor based on assumption. (Remember people to assume is to make an ass of u and me.)

Last night I couldn't sleep, this morning all I want to do is crawl in bed.

Without all the gory details, someone said I am pregnant. What's the big deal right?

I'm not. I want to be. I may not be able to be. And that's a personal hurt, I've kept the worst of between myself and my husband. So for person after person to come up to me and bring it up, twists the knife.

Also, I'm fat. There I said it. I am trying so hard to lose weight, but's slow going, probably due to the same health issues that may be prohibiting me getting prego. And I carry my weight in my chins and belly. I hate it and it makes me look pregnant and puffy. Cute. So it does a lot for ones self esteem to have people coming up to congratulate you.

I hope and pray that I have never done this to someone. Said something that seemed harmless, but cut pretty deep. I have a tendency to stick my foot right down my throat, so I know it's more then possible. I hope the person calls me on it, if I ever do this. I keep looking on my church's website, searching for how to deal. Here are some words of wisdom on gossip. And this I found in a Friend article, "Gossip is when you talk about people when they’re not around. It doesn’t matter if the things you say are true or not. They don’t need to be said.”

I know I don't always "strengthen my brethren in all my conversations." So I hope that this is an opportunity for me to learn a lesson and watch my own mouth. Forgiveness is also a weak point of mine. So I'm sure that with Heavenly Fathers help I can get better at that as well.

So, now I guess it's your business. Not as much fun to tell at parties is it?

I'm off to adjust my attitude, since I can't crawl back into bed...darn.

pictures next week.........

update: just read this:
“It is reported that President Brigham Young … explained that there are two courses of action to follow when one is bitten by a rattlesnake. One may, in anger, fear, or vengefulness, pursue the creature and kill it. Or he may make full haste to get the venom out of his system. If we pursue the latter course we will likely survive, but if we attempt to follow the former, we may not be around long enough to finish it.” (Marion D. Hanks, in Conference Report, Oct. 1973, p. 16; or Ensign, Jan. 1974, p. 21.)

I've written a letter to the person who started the rumor and I intend to seal it, deliver it and be done with it. ~ The sun just pushed through the clouds....literally!


Shauna- said...

I LOVE YOU! I am grateful you can vent and other will bring you flowers and other can bring you love!

I really enjoyed chatting with you today.

simplyshye said...

I'm sorry :-(

Nielson Family said...

Oh,Misha!Ugh!Unfortunately I can relate. One day I realized that all the comments were well meaning, they were just made out off ignorance. And, if the people that made them new how painful even the smallest comment could be, they would truly fell awful. That realization helped take the edge off. Well, the comments still hurt but it did help me be more forgiving.

Susan said...

I love the quote about the rattlesnake! I just read this, don't really know how I missed it before. Sorry! Love you lots.

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