Blessings of Breastfeeding Part 5

It was difficult to narrow this down to 5 posts. Breastfeeding has truly blessed my life in many ways. It's not a matter of preference, it's a way of life. I haven't even scratched the surface of topics like health, parenting or setting a positive example.

For this last post I really wanted to express my feelings of being blessed with a stronger marriage because of breastfeeding. My husband is amazing and supportive in many aspects, but when I think of how he's supported my desire to nurse our babies, I get emotional.

When I went through the pain of engorgement when I weaned Spanky, he held me while I cried. When I leaked through my shirt at the grocery store, he laughed with me. When I put our newborn son to my breast and he latched on right away, he marveled with me at the miracle and wonder of what we created together.

My Digger has helped to create an environment of love and respect, where breastfeeding our babies is a normal part of life. And that's something you can't get out of a can...

Blessings of Breastfeeding Part 4

I wont be buying a Prius. I can't afford solar panels for my home. Our attempt at composting went horribly, horribly wrong. But I am a Green Mama in my own right! I take cloth bags to the store, most of the time. I like shopping yard sales and thrift stores. And my baby's carbon footprint is drastically reduced because he is breastfed. Go us!

Seems like a lot of things we want to do that are better for the planet are expensive, time consuming, or hard to find. I feel blessed that I am able to do my part, by doing what comes naturally.

Blessings of Breastfeeding Part 3

(Our awesome Doula Nikki and her little VBA3C cutie!)

I am blessed with friendships and support from wonderful and amazing breastfeeding mamas who form a community dedicated to making the whole world better.

It's true. One positive decision, like breastfeeding can effect your entire life. Making you want to be better in many areas, providing opportunities to make friends that are like-minded. Here are links to some of the women and groups I am blessed to hang with:

Nuturing Hearts Birth Services
My local La Leche League meeting.
The Center for True Harmony
AZ Birth Network

(Super Doula Rose with us at our first birth circle after Max' birth---he's only 17 days old! I got to share our birth story and hear those of other moms. I love birth circle!)

Blessings of Breastfeeding Part 2

I am blessed to be able to feed my baby for free, anywhere we go.  Outfitted with little more then a nursing tank top from Target and some homemade breast pads, I can comfortably and discreetly feed my son no matter where we are. Peace of mind is knowing a fresh, ready supply of milk is always available. (And no bottles to wash doesn't hurt my feelings either.)

Let's break it down as if I formula fed my baby for the last 7.5 months:
Max has dairy sensitivity, so we'd probably need to go with soy and I'd prefer organic, so we're looking at about $30 for one 25.75 oz can or 190 oz of prepared formula. For the first four months baby might average 24 oz of formula a day (or 2880 oz. total) and from 4 months to today, he'd probably average more like 32 oz (or 3360 oz. total), for a lifetime total of 6240 oz, SO FAR. That's a little over 32 cans and $960. Doesn't seem possible, does it? So lets say I go the cheap route and get the Walmart off brand of soy formula-corn syrup solids are corn syrup solids, those same 32 cans will cost me about $438. My $350 breast pump has paid for itself either way, and that's not even a must have if you aren't going back to work. And I'm not even talking about the bottles, water, mylicon, co-pays for extra visits to the doc, prescriptions....

WHO says: Breastfeeding is the normal way of providing young infants with the nutrients they need for healthy growth and development. Virtually all mothers can breastfeed, provided they have accurate information, and the support of their family, the health care system and society at large.

When you are informed, I think you'll find the real cost of formula feeding goes much deeper then your wallet.

Part 3 tomorrow...

Blessings of Breastfeeding Part 1

As a friend and I were walking our kids to school the other morning, she asked me what made me want to breastfeed in the first place. I didn't have a good answer. During my first pregnancy I immersed myself in What to Expect When You're Expecting and TLC's A Baby Story. Neither of which are on the La Leche League's must read/watch list, believe me. There is one specific memory of my Auntie nursing my baby cousin in the car, I was four years old and I love my Auntie and want to be like her in many ways, so I'd like to credit her with planting that seed. But I always knew, from the moment I first found out I was pregnant, my baby would be breastfed.

With Spanky I had a goal of one year. We made it to 7 months and I reluctantly took my OB's advise and stopped nursing in an effort to shake a serious case of PPD. Mistake. Wow, I've learned a lot since then. I don't have a goal for Max's nursing, he can nurse until he's ready to wean. Nursing is not just about nutrition to me, it's a part of parenting, bonding and teaching from day one. 

Breastfeeding isn't without challenges and there are many books and support groups available to help women through any issues they encounter. I've been feeling very blessed by my body's ability to nourish my babies and will share a few of those blessings this week.

I feel blessed that in a world of isles full of brightly colored bottles and packages, screaming out to consumers the benefits of formula, that I am educated in the truth and able to feed and parent my sons based on common sense, evidence based information and guidance from Heavenly Father. How many times do we have to hear it? Knowledge is power. The formula companies bombard new parents (often at their request) with information on how to feed their baby. Common sense says that's not the source you should probably get your education from. I am thankful that I can trust my body, which was made to grow and nourish babies, and in moments that might be a little trying I can ask for Heavenly Fathers help to be patient with myself and my son.

When Max was only a couple of hours old, his blood sugar was low. The nurse suggested 'we' supplement with formula--her 'we' meant her and me. I didn't have to say a word, my look stopped her in her tracks. I was educated and informed, and I trusted in my body's ability. I told her that 'we' (my nursling and I) just needed to nurse. So we did. And when they checked his sugars next...all was well. What a boost to my confidence as a mom and a woman!

Check back tomorrow for Part 2...

Stress Lip

It's all about the glamour around here today.

I get this thing, we call it Stress Lip. Sometimes Angelina Jolie Lip when it's just so. Today it's not 'just so.'

Actually, it's been awhile since part of my lip has puffed up.

You're seeing this, right?

Here let me add another picture, just to make sure...

Yikes....

What am I so stressed about? Little life things, nothing major, nothing new. I can't wait until Digger comes home. One of the best parts of stress lip is greeting him with a big old kiss! Pucker up Buttercup!

At our home this week...

Monday in the kitchen...

(Part of our basket from the bountiful baskets co-op, the corn was awesome!)

Tuesday at the machines...

(Still plugging away at some last minute small fitted diapers.)

Wednesday brought organization...

(Diggers baby toys will make a great display over the diaper changing area. For now they are gathered to one safe spot.)

(The boxes are on sale at Target right now. Bonus!)

(This is a shot of Diggers man-nesting. We feel it's very important for young minds to be exposed to Star Wars right away.)

Thursday at Birth Circle...

(It was my turn for the bead ceremony. Each person chooses a bead and as they string it they share a word or a wish for you. Some wishes I received were, peace, patience, beauty, fun, courage and many more kind thoughts. I'm going to beg my SIL to string them into a nursing necklace for me.)

Finally Friday... (and my one and only cousins birthday...Happy Birthday Thomas! Enjoy those ribs!)

Tomorrow is the General Relief Society Conference broadcast, one of my favorite times of year. I am looking forward to being uplifted! (And I hope President Uchtdorf speaks to us, but I wont pout if they give him this conference off...he'll for sure have a message for us next weekend at General Conference!)

One week until Gramma is here! One week until I'm totally 100% okay with my little Axel making his appearance!

Last Saturday

We took a class at the hospital we are delivering at called "Sibling Adjustment." It was a really cute class, even if Wilhelm refused to talk (he just pointed at me for everything.) My favorite part was when the RN gave each child a 'toy checker' (aka toilet paper roll) and a toy. If the toy fit through the checker, it was not safe for baby and if it was too big, not sharp or too loud...it was probably a safe baby toy. What a great thing to teach kids!

Spanky practiced his diapering skills...and much to my dismay opted for the sposie they handed out over the cloth we brought with us. Darn it.

Then we went to pick out Axel's going home outfit. It's very cute, but no spoilers here...you have to wait for the real deal. We did lots of running around and hit lots of stores, including the Spirit Halloween store where we got to pose with the reaper (I really didn't want to be in this picture.) I finally got my Mongolian BBQ, yum! and there was a dragster out front, so we snapped a few pictures with it as well.

Scarey!!!

Family Organization

Our ever evolving way of doing things around the house has a few new 'helps.'



We've not been as diligent with the family blessing hour as I would have hoped, but just a few days ago we did it and it was great! Then we went out to see a movie and coming home to a clean house was fabulous!!! So I have renewed hope in this tool!



Next, I have a huge problem in the kitchen: I don't enjoy cooking. Sometimes Digger truly does believe that he married someone exactly like his mom. I'm just not a quilter and don't like diet pop. My MIL wishes the kitchen would fall off the side of the house and I've got to tell you, most days I'm with her. However, with my husband just having been diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes, we've got to be more serious about eating at home and eating healthy.



I loved this post and idea and implemented it last week. Of course, Jessica makes it so easy on you....you can just print them onto magnet paper, but......I have to do a green/frugal Misha spin on things (read: I had no magnet paper and didn't want to go out and spend money on it.) I used scrap scrapbook paper and magnets from the front of new phone books, pizza ads, etc. (I get a bit teased for saving them on the side of my fridge, but they come in handy a lot!) As for the meals, my husband has had success in the past following the Abs Diet, so that is where most of them come from. (Yes, this diet comes across gimmicky, but it is essentially the Superfoods Rx book geared toward men. It's healthy and I approve, so we're using it.)




Finally, my boy is having trouble staying on task. I have no idea where he gets this from, by the way. Ahem, anyways, we have a new chart that I am hoping will help all of us. My friend Shauna suggested letting Spanky choose 3 chores from a list, so I did columns. I'll explain to him that he'll have to mix it up and not avoid certain chores, or we'll have to change the way we do it.






What do you think? What works for your family chores and meals?

yo-yo

The past few days have had me in tears. Happy tears. Sad tears. Anxious tears. Painful tears. Way too much leaking eyes and red blotchy face. I'm done with it, but the pregger hormones apparently aren't...

The ultrasound was okay. The tech was nice enough, I guess. According to her, the placenta had moved a little and now she'd call it marginal placenta previa. Good news, right? I'm confident that my OB will cheerfully announce that I may proceed with the natural childbirth of my dreams. Rock on. But, just to be sure........I call and leave a message to see what she thinks.

Whilst on the phone giving the bottled water company a piece of my mind for shorting me 10 gallons after a month of record breaking heat, the other line beeps. I click over and it's the PA from my OB's office, calling to tell me all about my ultrasound. The conversation starts off with her telling me how huge my baby is, I'm starting to get edgy about this by the way. Axel is above 'normal', but he's proportional, healthy and if any one has been listening that's just how I grow them! My mother is a skinny little thing and I was 9 lbs. and my husband wasn't whimpy by any standards either. BUT this PA is a little more 'medical' then my actual doc. And I believe if given the opportunity, she'd have me believing my dates are wrong. I got a little um, bold and cut her off....I said I know he's big compared to other babies, but what I really want to know about is the placenta. She very nonchalantly says, well it hasn't changed and if it doesn't move, you'll have to have a c-section. Like it's no big deal.

I am a bit of a drama queen, I'll admit it. I called my husband and blubbered like a baby. I acted like the end of the world was close at hand. I was in a funk most of the night and really started to think things through this morning. I know that this information did not come from the doc herself. I know that I need to talk to her before I go off the deep end and make myself depressed. I know that if I do have to have a c-section, it will be okay, but I don't have to like it.

I was feeling a bit like a jerk. Like maybe I was being selfish to want to do this my way. But I don't think so now. This birth will be the one and only time Axel and I will have to work together to bring him into this world. I would prefer not to have him extracted from me on the date of a doctors choosing. If it happens, I will mourn the loss of a dream. And I don't think that's selfish. Sometimes I try to keep my opinions and thoughts to myself, because several good friends have had c-sections. I am not comparing myself to them or judging their choices or situations.

The key in whatever happens is empowerment. Maybe that's what I let be taken from me a little yesterday. I let this PA tell me what was going to happen to me and I took it for gospel. I let her take a little of my say in the matter by not asking questions and letting her opinion send me into a tizzy. I let her tell me that they'll just send me in for another ultrasound at 34 weeks. Um, no you wont.

So, on the today list:
*chill out with yoga
*do something for someone else
*call a midwife friend
*make something pretty
*be thankful for every not-so-little movement Axel bestows upon me

*edit: I spoke with an amazing midwife who really helped put things into understandable terms for me. She gave me the questions to ask my OB that would give me the answers I am looking for. So I called the office. My Dr. called me back and now I'm back to crying. The placenta is partially covering the cervix. We'll do one last ultrasound at 36 weeks. If there isn't a change, it's surgery for us. At least I know what may be ahead, and still it could go the other way. Hurry up and wait, story of my life. I need to get through this and enjoy the remainder of my pregnancy. It's no good for little Axel to have a weepy mama.

mama thoughts

mom's day is coming up. i already bought myself a giftie of this necklace and this herbal tea. come on, you know my boys weren't going to order them for me.... it's okay to treat yourself every so often, i say.

last night digger was wanting me to stay up and watch a little t.v. with him, but i so wanted to sleep ... so he tempted me with: "i'll watch your birth movie with you." sold! we watched 'the business of being born' and it was pretty good. i knew there'd be images of birth and naked mamas in birth action, so i've had it sitting there just waiting for a night when spanky actually passed out before me. shows like this should be the norm, not 'a baby story.' i watched way too much baby story shows when i was prego with spanky and really thought pitocin, etc. were 'normal.' i felt a little sad at the state of our country and how we treat birth, but happy that i care enough to educate myself and go against the grain. every time they had a clip of ina may gaskin, i was giddy. i asked dig if we could travel to tennessee to the farm to birth #2, he said no. ;o)

also i read the 4 birth stories of jessica this weekend. i love these uplifting, powerful and inspiring stories. although i still wont be giving birth at home, i am thankful for the knowledge of those stories to help me have the experience i want at the hospital, i pray it's possible. i am thankful for a husband who is willing to watch and listen and will be my natural birth bodyguard.

now with all of this, i am thinking of finally writing down spanky's birth story, but found that like jessica, now that it's after the fact and i am a lot more knowledgeable, it may sound not so pleasant. it really wasn't that bad, i just know it can be better. i'm gonna write it anyways, for posterity (and scrap it of course...silly.) did you write your birth story? any suggestions?

have a great week!

books!

I spent WAY too much money on books at Amazon last week, but I am so excited to dive into them. Not one is a novel, because I have a pile of those waiting for me to give the sewing machine a break. But that's not likely to happen soon with this book in my hot little hands:


Weekend Sewing: More Than 40 Projects and Ideas for Inspired Stitching

and this one on the way in May:

Lotta Jansdotter's Simple Sewing for Baby: 20 Easy Projects for Newborns to Toddlers

I preordered Soule Mama's next book and it should arrieve in the height of my nesting, so that's exciting!!

Handmade Home: Simple Ways to Repurpose Old Materials into New Family Treasures

...and for those moments when I can't park it in front of the sewing machine, I can get my baby fill with the following:

The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth

HypnoBirthing: The Mongan Method

See what I mean. Way too much moola on books, but I checked for used locally first and no luck.

Are we Good Reads friends yet? See my side bar>>>>>>>>>

*Update: I have devoured Ina May's Guide to Childbirth over the past few days and it is truly life changing. I knew I wanted to do things differently this time. I just didn't know how to go about trying to have a natural birth in a hospital. Birthing at home holds no appeal for me, at all. This book is so common sense, but it's things we have shoved so far to the back of the closet, that generations have past by thinking the medicated, induced, c-section births are 'normal.' After reading this book I can see the problems with Spanky's birth were that I was uninformed and too trusting of what strangers were telling me to do. I am thankful that I have a healthy, perfect boy...but I believe there was unnecessary trauma due to my lack of education. In no way do I think that the L&D staff is evil or uncaring, I just think our whole society has rearranged the process of birth and it's not better. I am so excited for my next OB appointment to really discuss with her the things I've learned and my vision for a safe, healthy birth!

Thyroid Cancer and Pregnancy~1st Trimester

Thyroid cancer may be 'the' cancer to have if you have to have cancer, but that doesn't make it any less of a pain in the butt.


I found out I was pregnant at 5 weeks, immediately called my Endocrinologist (even my OB got second place) and the blood bath began.




5 weeks: First blood test. TSH .34 ~ and what exactly does that mean? Well if a 'normal' person, you maybe, had this # you'd be cleaning house, turning cartwheels and probably be pretty skinny. Not me. I make it through the day, sleep okay most nights, still have trouble losing weight.




6 weeks: The OB sends me in to get my blood work done, because it's so much fun for me. I get a bloodsucker who can't find a vein, yet continually pokes me. Finally she gets the baby butterfly needle out and manages to see the blue line on the back of my hand. People, I may have veins that hide in fear from so much abuse, but I am a pale, pastey, white girl...find the target for the LOVE! Anyways, that bloodwork comes back (I'm STD free by the way, you'll be happy to know...I didn't know I was suppost to be concerned!) and my TSH is 0.14, which sends my OB's office into a tizzy, but not my Endo's...they tell me to take 6.5 pills a week instead of 7, no problem. But because I like to humor people, I go back for MORE blood suckage at...


7 weeks: Now we're at .04 and am I bouncing off the walls? Nope, I'm crashing even earlier. I feel like a slug. Try to research thyroid suppression therapy in pregnancy, relivent to thyroid cancer. Not a whole lot out there. I am a member of Thyca in Childbearing yahoo group, so I've emailed them and looked into past posts for people with similar issues. That's helped a little, but kinda made me nervous about miscarriage as well. But after talking to my Endo, he says it's okay, just take 6 pills a week, now Sunday truly is a day of rest! Woohoo!





10 weeks: More blood suckge, but this time at my Endo's office again, whew...cause tht's one vampire who knows what he's doing. Hardly felt a pinch. I find out the results at...





11 & 12 weeks: Not a lot of change, but everything seems to be fine and that's all that matters!

Check this out:

Rocket Fuel Chemical Found in Baby Formula

Yikes.

Squeaky Clean!

I've been collecting 'recipes' and trying out new ways of cleaning things around the house, both in an effort to be greener and to save money. Let's face it, if I were to buy all the happy, healthy green products in the health food stores...I'd go broke. Broker. To me part of being 'green' is being frugal.

So here's what works so far:

*100% aloe vera gel for hair gel.

*Water and vinegar in a spray bottle for cleaning.

*Cloth wipes and wipe solution.
I had a dying towel I cut into 8x8 squares, FREE!! I'll be surging the edges as soon as my surger is fixed.
There are several wipe solution recipes out there. I tried the most simple one I could find and it is perfect!

2 cups water (I'm using bottled, if you use tap: boil it and let it cool first)
1 Tbs. baby wash
1 Tbs. baby lotion
I put it all in a glass pickle jar I saved, shake it up, let the bubbles go down, shake it again and then pour over the wipes that I have folded and placed in an old disposable wipes container. I get the next batch ready and toss it in the fridge so it's good to go.

Easy. Cheap. Best of all, they work great!

The baby wash and lotion I am using are from Arbonne. I have a personal use account with them, so if you ever wanted to order, I can get you 30% off, but I don't do parties or anything like that...I just like the products for myself and am willing to share the love.) Please no frou-frou baby lotions and washes that have nasty chemicals...read the labels.

Washing them is no big deal. I have a pail I toss them into and then into the 'rag' load they go. I use a mild detergent (only 2 Tbs.) and vinegar in that load with an extra rinse, no need to dry them, just fold and place back into the container! Please no harsh detergents or fabric softeners.

Dishwasher 'Detergent'

This took some experimentation due to the nastiness of Arizona water and here's what I came up with:

1 tps. Dr. Bronner's liquid castile soap
(I have almond on hand right now, but any 'flavor' will work.)
1/8 c baking soda
1/4 c vinegar

I put the soap and the baking soda in the detergent spot of the machine and just pour the vinegar in the bottom. If you over do the soap, you'll get spotty dishes. It's hard not to be heavy handed with the cleaning supplies for me, but I am learning. I still wash my dishes before they go into the dishwasher, I just haven't met a dishwasher I trust (except Digger, he's a very trustworthy dishwasher!) At least now I know they are extra clean and sanitized.

In an effort to not totally freak my husband out, I am slowly adding these things to our home. Here are a few of the things I am going to be testing out in the next few weeks:

Homemade toothpaste, coconut oil conditioner/moisturizer, homemade deodorant and other household cleaners all found on a really wonderful blog called Passionate Homemaking.

I've already cut out some of the junk in my shower and use Dr. Bronner's exclusively for soap, but I haven't found a recipe for shampoo that looks do-able for my crazy-frizzy-wild-woman-hair. That is one product I may have to splurge on. For make-up I am using up what I have and adding natural mineral products when I need something new. Passionate Homemaking has a great post on mascara that I will be using to help me find a new favorite.

Have you tried anything that works for you?

Project 365 ~ Week 2

I'm not gonna lie to you....I didn't take a picture every single day this last week. I was super sick and hanging out in bed a lot and soooo sick that Digger stayed home and helped me with daycare on Monday and came home early Tuesday, because he was worried about me (and had some homework to finish up.) Seriously, I have such a wonderful husband.

So not a perfect picture taking week. But so what, right? Are the Project 365 police gonna come haul me away? I am keepin' on! Here's what I did snap up:

A spot of herbal tea with my very last lady finger, super delicious English cookie from my sis*in*law faithfully serving a mission in London. Her little note says "So yummy! Please enjoy! They are the best {heart} Me" I've got to say they were pretty darn awesome, but we think YOU are the best little sis!


I was thinkin' Donimo (no that's not a typo) doesn't get enough blog love, then I started trying to get a good picture of him.........this is the best I could do. He's our Marley for sure...worst puppy ever! But we love him.
Oh, Polaroid....you scared me with that whole 'we're not making instant film' thing. My heart was broken. I held close to me those sweet polaroids of my youth and the fun i-Zone sticky pictures of a few years ago. AND then....WHAT??? Zink and the PoGo??!! I love you all over again! My husbands co-worker says you'll never pay for yourself. I don't care. I love you. I'm excited for the new memories we'll capture together 2"x3" at a time...

With mom spending most of the New Year being sick, Dad has started making us healthy smoothies...I mean MILKSHAKES, oops what was I thinking....ssshhh, don't tell Spanky they are good for him...

Spanky modeling our new Ikea chairs. I needed one or two more kid chairs, but these 3 bad boys were in the AS-IS section and they wanted to stay together, so we picked them all up at a steal! Wanna know why they were put in the AS-IS? They were floor models...I'm thinking maybe for a day, because they weren't even scuffed on the bottom. Thanks Ikea!

My FIL had surgery last week and is now home and on the mend like a trooper! We've had enough of the c-word (cancer) in this family and have decided not to have anymore of it. We're good, lessons learned, eating and living healthier....no more cancer, please!

My goal for the next week of pictures is to practice getting good close-ups using my cameras' macro feature.

Have a wonderful, healthy, happy week!

what happened to your neck???

if you've met me, you may have noticed two beautiful scars on my neck. although i do have to say that they are fading well, there was a time when i felt as though i should have had bolts on either side of my neck and my hair should have stood on end, somewhat like this:

i got those battle scars from a lovely little cancer called Papillary Thyroid Cancer. i've been told by a few doctors how 'lucky' i am to have this cancer. i never felt very lucky in the thick of it. i felt fat, ugly, bloated, a bit crazy....and very, very scared. in addition to my amazing surgeons and the best endocrinologist on the planet.......i found much peace, support, and useful information through THYCA. now i do feel lucky.

i'm lucky and blessed for lots of reasons. in the thyroid department, because papillary thyca is very slow growing: i have had almost 100 lymph nodes removed in 3 surgeries and about 25 had cancer, the BIG one was about the size of a racket ball.....people, we're talking a racket ball in my neck...and you couldn't even tell! i could tell there was a bump on the side of my neck and what i thought was post-pardum depression wasn't getting any better and my baby was 18 months old. i knew that very slowly i was packing on pounds and couldn't ditch them. i knew that i was really mean to my husband, wicked witch mean. i knew i just wasn't myself. i felt like i was being sucked into a black hole...i was unraveling.

then i found a doctor who was rude and told me that none of what i was complaining of had anything to do with my thyroid. OKAY, i didn't know a lot back then and i was so depressed i didn't question it, but i was also feeling very mean...so i did get mad. and when the diagnosis came out thyroid cancer, i fired that doctor and told him exactly why. unfortunately, i had already let him cut my neck up. then heavenly father led me to an amazing husband/wife team mentioned above who did the second surgery, which was 10 hours long and very challenging...i just slept the whole time. spanky and i are superstars on their website, check it out.

that amazing duo led me to Dr. Duick, he's a rock star. he's kept my thyroid levels stable, thus returning me to somewhat my old self. he's done ultrasounds on my neck and discovered what another couple of docs missed...more cancer. we got that taken care of with surgery #3 and now my blood tests show that there is only a microscopic amount of it left...nothing that can be operated on. dr. d gave me the thumbs up earlier this year to go for baby #2...i wanted to kiss him for that news. and i'm under no delusions that i wont have to deal with this again, but for now i feel i can breathe and that does a lot for one's peace of mind.

so...blessed not to have had to go the chemo route eventhough the radioactive iodine wasn't too fun, to have been led to the right people to take care of me, to have a family that propped me up and put up with my temporary insanity, blessed to be alive.

another wonderful resource is http://www.checkyourneck.com/

check your neck, your skin, your breasts, your everything...if something is out of whack, you don't feel right, whatever...keep asking, demand help and respect. educate yourself and work with your doctor. eradicate things and people in your life that zap your energy and self worth. and hang in there, things get better and the black hole, you'll realize is really a tunnel as you come to see the light.

i realized when i was organizing and cleaning up the blog that i didn't even have a THYCA link, shame on me. they understood what was happening first hand, they made me feel like i wasn't alone. i never wished for breast cancer by a long shot, but i did envy the sisterhood and support of the sea of pink i saw during this time of my life. THYCA helped with that a lot, because having thyroid cancer is very lonely. when you have a RAI treatment you have to be isolated, you have to go off the meds that help you feel normal and you can't eat anything with iodine in it (doesn't sound hard...try not eating anything processed, anything with iodized salt, anything with red food coloring...it sucks, trust me.) i joined the yahoo groups, participated in live chats and read the website from 'cover to cover.' i still take comfort in the fact that if/when the little bit left behind decides to take center stage again, i have a safety net of people who really understand.

now you know.