Spanky's Summer & The First of Second

This summer, Spanky was able to take a couple of classes, spend a lot of time with friends, attend his first Cub Scout Day Camp and visit with family.

Feeling brave:

Swim class:

Making faces....

...for this reaction:

Loves his Gramma:

Day camp awards:

Drama Class:

And now my big boy is at school, workin' the second grade:

Maybe they'll teach him how to smile. And don't feel too bad for him...he was up at 5:15am and in the shower, dressed, made his lunch, ate breakfast and was ready to go by 6:30am. School starts at 8:30am. These pictures certainly don't show it, but he was so excited.

*And for the record, I held it together today. I got a little misty-eyed, but talked myself out of it! Still 2:45pm can't come fast enough....

8 months

This month we had a special visitor: Tee! Fresh off her mission to London, we so enjoied her bit o' accent! We went to the Mesa Temple to snap a few pictures with her.  Little Max and Tee, well this was their first meeting...I do believe it was love at first sight.

Daddy is teaching Max to be reverent.

Not a picky eater, he wants to do it himself...no spoon feeding going on here.

Blessings of Breastfeeding Part 4

I wont be buying a Prius. I can't afford solar panels for my home. Our attempt at composting went horribly, horribly wrong. But I am a Green Mama in my own right! I take cloth bags to the store, most of the time. I like shopping yard sales and thrift stores. And my baby's carbon footprint is drastically reduced because he is breastfed. Go us!

Seems like a lot of things we want to do that are better for the planet are expensive, time consuming, or hard to find. I feel blessed that I am able to do my part, by doing what comes naturally.

Blessings of Breastfeeding Part 3

(Our awesome Doula Nikki and her little VBA3C cutie!)

I am blessed with friendships and support from wonderful and amazing breastfeeding mamas who form a community dedicated to making the whole world better.

It's true. One positive decision, like breastfeeding can effect your entire life. Making you want to be better in many areas, providing opportunities to make friends that are like-minded. Here are links to some of the women and groups I am blessed to hang with:

Nuturing Hearts Birth Services
My local La Leche League meeting.
The Center for True Harmony
AZ Birth Network

(Super Doula Rose with us at our first birth circle after Max' birth---he's only 17 days old! I got to share our birth story and hear those of other moms. I love birth circle!)

Blessings of Breastfeeding Part 2

I am blessed to be able to feed my baby for free, anywhere we go.  Outfitted with little more then a nursing tank top from Target and some homemade breast pads, I can comfortably and discreetly feed my son no matter where we are. Peace of mind is knowing a fresh, ready supply of milk is always available. (And no bottles to wash doesn't hurt my feelings either.)

Let's break it down as if I formula fed my baby for the last 7.5 months:
Max has dairy sensitivity, so we'd probably need to go with soy and I'd prefer organic, so we're looking at about $30 for one 25.75 oz can or 190 oz of prepared formula. For the first four months baby might average 24 oz of formula a day (or 2880 oz. total) and from 4 months to today, he'd probably average more like 32 oz (or 3360 oz. total), for a lifetime total of 6240 oz, SO FAR. That's a little over 32 cans and $960. Doesn't seem possible, does it? So lets say I go the cheap route and get the Walmart off brand of soy formula-corn syrup solids are corn syrup solids, those same 32 cans will cost me about $438. My $350 breast pump has paid for itself either way, and that's not even a must have if you aren't going back to work. And I'm not even talking about the bottles, water, mylicon, co-pays for extra visits to the doc, prescriptions....

WHO says: Breastfeeding is the normal way of providing young infants with the nutrients they need for healthy growth and development. Virtually all mothers can breastfeed, provided they have accurate information, and the support of their family, the health care system and society at large.

When you are informed, I think you'll find the real cost of formula feeding goes much deeper then your wallet.

Part 3 tomorrow...

Blessings of Breastfeeding Part 1

As a friend and I were walking our kids to school the other morning, she asked me what made me want to breastfeed in the first place. I didn't have a good answer. During my first pregnancy I immersed myself in What to Expect When You're Expecting and TLC's A Baby Story. Neither of which are on the La Leche League's must read/watch list, believe me. There is one specific memory of my Auntie nursing my baby cousin in the car, I was four years old and I love my Auntie and want to be like her in many ways, so I'd like to credit her with planting that seed. But I always knew, from the moment I first found out I was pregnant, my baby would be breastfed.

With Spanky I had a goal of one year. We made it to 7 months and I reluctantly took my OB's advise and stopped nursing in an effort to shake a serious case of PPD. Mistake. Wow, I've learned a lot since then. I don't have a goal for Max's nursing, he can nurse until he's ready to wean. Nursing is not just about nutrition to me, it's a part of parenting, bonding and teaching from day one. 

Breastfeeding isn't without challenges and there are many books and support groups available to help women through any issues they encounter. I've been feeling very blessed by my body's ability to nourish my babies and will share a few of those blessings this week.

I feel blessed that in a world of isles full of brightly colored bottles and packages, screaming out to consumers the benefits of formula, that I am educated in the truth and able to feed and parent my sons based on common sense, evidence based information and guidance from Heavenly Father. How many times do we have to hear it? Knowledge is power. The formula companies bombard new parents (often at their request) with information on how to feed their baby. Common sense says that's not the source you should probably get your education from. I am thankful that I can trust my body, which was made to grow and nourish babies, and in moments that might be a little trying I can ask for Heavenly Fathers help to be patient with myself and my son.

When Max was only a couple of hours old, his blood sugar was low. The nurse suggested 'we' supplement with formula--her 'we' meant her and me. I didn't have to say a word, my look stopped her in her tracks. I was educated and informed, and I trusted in my body's ability. I told her that 'we' (my nursling and I) just needed to nurse. So we did. And when they checked his sugars next...all was well. What a boost to my confidence as a mom and a woman!

Check back tomorrow for Part 2...

Hallelujah!

It's a Cinco de Mayo miracle......I have finished the Book of Mormon!!!

watch out, i've got a plan!

found here

this is my mantra for the week as i clear out junk from my home and my mind.

focusing on completing the book of mormon, finishing some projects for babies and mamas i love, and making time for important things like eating at the table and snuggling.

(usually eating at the table and working on projects are a contradiction in terms, but i have a plan!)

oh and a little p.s. we have a tooth! it sprouted yesterday and little max's tounge is all over it, exploring.

pps this made me snort, i mean laugh right out loud: Amish Enemy Bread

have a great week!

mamaing...

...ain't easy.

i love my big boy, all 4' 1.5" of him.
he's my baby, eventhough i have another baby, who really is a baby.
he's a special spirit with wonderful gifts and talents.
since he was a tiny babe, he's had the talent of being a peacemaker.
blessed are the peacemakers.
he'd reach up and touch the cheek of mom or dad when we'd be upset with eachother.
an infants reminder of true importance.
before he could talk, he could bring calm and peace to our home.
at 2 he'd walk around the breakfast nook at gramma's
giving everyone at the table a blessing with his little toddler hands placed lovingly atop our heads.
sweet little mumbles with a clear amen.

he's not perfect, but he is one great kid.
we're struggling right now.
i decided i could sit around stewing on:
why?, what did i do?, what should i do?, what's wrong?
or
i could remind myself and my son of his
talents and divine heritage.
give him my time and attention.
love him.
pray for him.

thank heaven for half days and mama/son dates.
thank heaven for spring break.
we'll be quiet around here for the next week.
snuggling, lego-ing, bonding

Wanna Join Me?

I am reading the Book of Mormon and working on the Young Women program called Personal Progress. Since I am a convert, I haven't yet earned the 'Young Women in Excellence' award (the girls version of an Eagle Scout award, sort of.) One of my goals this year is to get it done before my SIL McKenzie gets home from her mission...in May! So if I'm quiet round here, you'll know my nose is in a book or working on one of the many value expirences or projects I need to complete! Happy Saturday.

Little Brothers Keeper

I can't believe these pictures (not to mention my baby) are almost 6 weeks old. What I can believe is the love my big boy has for his first sibling. He sneaks kisses when he thinks I'm not looking. He tells me he wants to keep his little Max forever. He protects his baby from imaginary monsters when he plays. He decodes every cry and coo for his clueless parents.

I've spent many a moment (and I'm sure I'll spend many more) fretting over if I am doing a good job as The Mom. Am I teaching all that I should? Watching these two boys over the last few weeks has shown me that I am the one learning from them. They are such good little teachers, too.

Axel's Birth Story

(photo by Boyd Robinson, Ironwood Photography)

We did it! I wanted a natural, unmedicated childbirth from the first day I found out I was pregnant. I started reading, practicing breathing and imagining my perfect birth as soon as the nausea subsided. Knowledge, preparation and support are essential for a birth that bucks this country's 'norm'.


I'm not going to tell you it was easy. I loved being pregnant and it took me until the last 3 days to get to the point where I was mentally ready to be done being pregnant. I started to feel very pressured, friends and family were calling to see if I was in labor yet and I felt like all eyes were on me. So, Saturday night October 3, my sweetheart took me to the mall and we turbo walked both levels. I had a few contractions, but nothing serious. On the drive home, we had a perfect view of the moon...it was almost full and I asked a silent prayer for her to work her magic on me.

Sunday morning, Digger told me he was taking me away for the day. I immediately felt more peaceful and calm. It helped a lot that Gramma was here to play with and spoil Spanky. I didn't need to worry about him at all. So we left and had some much needed alone time. Toward the end of the day, we were watching a movie and during the opening credits, I started to have regular contractions that continued through the entire movie. They faded out as we went back home and I went to sleep.


Monday morning at 2 am I woke up with 'the real deal'. I was so wide awake, but I knew it was early and I didn't want to wake the house up. So I decided to catch up on a few emails and get some housework done. I timed the contractions and when they got to be about 2 minutes apart and 40 seconds long, I let Digger know today was the day and I took a shower. Then I called my doula.


Well, the full moon worked her wonders on more then just me and my doula was already at the side of another laboring woman. Surprisingly, I didn't panic, I still felt calm. She sent over another doula, who turned out to be just who I needed. When she arrived it was about 6:30am and I was having to stop and focus on breathing through the contractions. My OB said to head over to the hospital when the contractions were about a minute long.


Nikki (my doula) helped rub my back, reminded me to eat a little something and helped Digger load up the car. Then we were on our way. I was a bit worried that I had gone too soon, but on the other hand, I really didn't want to deliver in the car on the 60 freeway. In triage, we found out we were at 5 almost 6 cm and I was pleased with that progress. During the contractions, I had to focus, breathe and close my eyes. But in-between I was carrying on conversations, walking around, showering and feeling really pretty good. As per my wishes, the nurses did not check my progress except for when we first arrived and right before we delivered. This was a huge help to not have to stop for that kind of distraction. We also had remote monitors, so I was not tethered to the bed.


Digger pulled up the James Taylor station on Pandora and it really helped distract me and give me a feeling of peace. Somewhere around noon I started feeling pushy, my OB showed up and broke my water. My calm and peaceful demeanor left the building. I tried to stay on top of the waves (contractions), but couldn't. I started to retreat into myself, but every so often I heard Nikki's voice and it helped to bring me back. I labored on all fours, tried the bar and on my side...but when it came down to it I felt I was getting the job done best mostly on my back, slightly tilted to the side. Digger held one of my legs for me, what a man!


When I finally stopped or got a grip on the primal screaming, I got some good pushes in and was told to touch my baby's head. I did and then I felt him go back up...I wanted to scream and felt a little panic come over me, but then it was time to push again. I begged Heavenly Father to let this push be The Push. And eventually it was, at 1:32pm.


Axel got stuck momentarily right round his chest, then he was out and on my chest. The cord pulsed, we snuggled and then I got to cut the cord. The nurses had to take him, because he swallowed some of his amniotic fluid. Digger stayed right by his side. Imagine my surprise when when they announced he was 10 pounds, 10 oz. I knew he'd be a big boy, but honestly couldn't imagine him being that big! And lots of dark hair and cute chubby cheeks.


So while they were fixing up my boy, the OB and L&D nurse were working on me. I delivered the ginormous placenta, then I was bleeding a lot, so they were massaging my belly. That was the worst part of the whole thing. I couldn't even help but push the nurse's hands away as she was digging into my stomach. I wanted to hit her. Nikki got my attention and I stared into her eyes to try to get through it. I was hooked up to pitocin at this point to help stop the bleeding.


Before they got everything cleaned up, Nikki showed me the placenta and explained all of the parts. It was really cool. Then she took pictures of Axel. When I finally got him back, we started nursing, I ate lunch and then we were moved into our recovery room.


The hormones and adrenaline had me on a major high. I felt so good after delivery. I am thankful for a husband who was so supportive and loving throughout the whole pregnancy and birth. I am thankful for my mother-in-law who stayed with, loved and spoiled my firstborn. I am thankful for Spanky and his sweet spirit. And for all of my blessings. I am paying the physical price for birthing such a big boy the old fashioned way, but mentally...this experience has healed me in many ways. I wouldn't trade it.

Happy October

(my pumpkin last year enjoying his birthday cake)

I love October! Halloween is fun. The Nightmare Before Christmas is out in theatres again (although, I wont be sitting through it this year, sadly---but I can always watch it at home.) It's slightly cooled down, just a tiny bit and there's a breeze in the air...seriously refreshing here in AZ. It's nice to have hope that there is an end to 110 degree heat. This weekend is General Conference, always uplifting and motivating.



Not to mention that October is home of my favorite little boys birthday. And oh...so...soon, I'll have two favorite little boy's birthdays to celebrate in this fall month.



My bags are packed, the honey do list is printed off, my doula is programmed on the speed dial, the doc says all is ready and we're waiting on the contractions to start. So I'm signing out of blog land and I'll be eating spicy food and walking my legs off. As Digger's mom says..."I'd walk a mile for a mild labor!" Send all your happy labor and delivery thoughts this-a-way please!



Next post will feature a new Strunk!!!

Womens Conference Report

Saturday afternoon I let Spanky loose on the wii, had a 10 minute nap and took a bath. I shaved my legs. Yes, that's right...eight and a half months pregnant and I shaved my legs. It's not easy people. I got dressed and walked over to the church for the annual Relief Society General Broadcast. Found myself a seat on the aisle, just in case.

Just in case I had to go to the bathroom, but for some reason, I also keep having day dreams of my water breaking at inopportune moments. So on the aisle, I could make a break for it. But I couldn't just leave a soggy seat behind, gross. Then my friend and her mom come in and sit two pews ahead of me. Perfect. Now I have a plan. If my water breaks, I quietly ask the girl in front of me to get Shauna's attention. Then I give Shauna my best holy-crap-my-water-just-broke-look. She rescues me, informs the powers that be of the mess, rushes me to my husband and whisks away my boy so I can labor and birth his brother.

Yup, I planned that all out in the 30 seconds left before the conference actually started. And, if ye are prepared, ye shall not fear...and your water wont break. (For the record, I do feel a little crazy at this point.) But I am able to settle down, relax and enjoy the messages. Which were great.

I took some notes. Here's what stuck out for me:

*Attendance to Relief Society on Sunday will bless you. Participation in Relief Society blesses the whole church.

*NOTHING can separate us from the love of God. The Holy Ghost testifies of that love, so we must strive to be worthy of his companionship.

*Don't let doubt or uncertainty cloud your mind.

*There can be no salvation without compassionate service.

*The legacy of the Relief Society is passed from heart to heart.
I have a testimony of the truthfulness of this last one. As an investigator of the church, on my very first Sunday, I attended Relief Society Meeting. I knew none of the women in the meeting. A passionate and articulate girl about my age (we were girls still, I was just 21 and she was 20) was sharing a lesson on journal keeping. As she shared her testimony and her love of keeping a record of her life, I found myself in tears. I tried really hard to hold them back and I remember thinking..."I don't even know these people and I'm totally crying!"

Little did I know that she and I would become not only sisters in the gospel, but family...sisters-in-law! I think her brother was already plotting this, by the way. Anyways, that day, my SIL Jamie passed the legacy of Relief Society from her heart to mine. Thank you Jamie!

To hear the messages for yourself, click here.

Mrs. Digger

Eleven years ago today I married my Diggie.

In this beautiful fairy-tale-come-true place.

Surrounded by people we love.

It hasn't always been easy, but it sure as heck is worth it.

Together, we've done great things.

And had lots of fun.

I love you Dig.

yw's

Funny how when the topics in YW's seem a little difficult, not to teach, but rather to come up with ways to make them 'stick'...well those seem to be the ones I have the better handouts and object lessons for!

This blog has helped me more then once, including with last Sunday's handout for a lesson on "Personal Purity through Self-Discipline":

Reads: When you exercise self-control, you will receive sweet rewards.

Now I'm working on this weeks lesson, "Avoiding Degrading Media Influences." I'm sure my best idea will come late Saturday night........

First

I had my boy all to myself this morning. I snuggled him, studied his perfect little face as he slept and thanked Heavenly Father for such a gift. I woke him up at the last minute to get ready for his first day of first grade.

He took a shower and I didn't have to hurry him, a first. He brushed his teeth, got dressed and combed his hair while I made his lunch. The clothes are all Spanky...he requested only one outfit for school, black jeans-red polo-red converse, and a mom has got to appreciate how well it all coordinates with his lunch bag. I offered to help him with his new shoes, but he said he'd get it. Next thing I know he announces he's tied his shoes all by himself, another first. I slip a love note into his lunch bag, amazed at how well I am keeping it together. Go Mom!

He asks if I'll take his picture, last year he tried to hide from me. I snap a few out front and we head out the door to share a pancake breakfast. He doesn't look twice at the play area, another first. Then we're off to school.

I walked him to the door of his new class. Thank heaven a kiss from mom is still acceptable. I got in my car before tears escaped and as I'm sitting there trying to hold it together, I realize I haven't signed him in yet. I find a napkin and try to adjust my face, get out, sign him in and then get back to my car before I am officially labeled The Crazy Mom.

You could blame it on pregger hormones, but....I did this last year and the year before. Probably will next year too. I love that kid and I know his awesome Montessori school is where he needs to be, or else I wouldn't be leaving him there.

Bet I am the first parent in car line! Is it 2:45 yet?

yo-yo

The past few days have had me in tears. Happy tears. Sad tears. Anxious tears. Painful tears. Way too much leaking eyes and red blotchy face. I'm done with it, but the pregger hormones apparently aren't...

The ultrasound was okay. The tech was nice enough, I guess. According to her, the placenta had moved a little and now she'd call it marginal placenta previa. Good news, right? I'm confident that my OB will cheerfully announce that I may proceed with the natural childbirth of my dreams. Rock on. But, just to be sure........I call and leave a message to see what she thinks.

Whilst on the phone giving the bottled water company a piece of my mind for shorting me 10 gallons after a month of record breaking heat, the other line beeps. I click over and it's the PA from my OB's office, calling to tell me all about my ultrasound. The conversation starts off with her telling me how huge my baby is, I'm starting to get edgy about this by the way. Axel is above 'normal', but he's proportional, healthy and if any one has been listening that's just how I grow them! My mother is a skinny little thing and I was 9 lbs. and my husband wasn't whimpy by any standards either. BUT this PA is a little more 'medical' then my actual doc. And I believe if given the opportunity, she'd have me believing my dates are wrong. I got a little um, bold and cut her off....I said I know he's big compared to other babies, but what I really want to know about is the placenta. She very nonchalantly says, well it hasn't changed and if it doesn't move, you'll have to have a c-section. Like it's no big deal.

I am a bit of a drama queen, I'll admit it. I called my husband and blubbered like a baby. I acted like the end of the world was close at hand. I was in a funk most of the night and really started to think things through this morning. I know that this information did not come from the doc herself. I know that I need to talk to her before I go off the deep end and make myself depressed. I know that if I do have to have a c-section, it will be okay, but I don't have to like it.

I was feeling a bit like a jerk. Like maybe I was being selfish to want to do this my way. But I don't think so now. This birth will be the one and only time Axel and I will have to work together to bring him into this world. I would prefer not to have him extracted from me on the date of a doctors choosing. If it happens, I will mourn the loss of a dream. And I don't think that's selfish. Sometimes I try to keep my opinions and thoughts to myself, because several good friends have had c-sections. I am not comparing myself to them or judging their choices or situations.

The key in whatever happens is empowerment. Maybe that's what I let be taken from me a little yesterday. I let this PA tell me what was going to happen to me and I took it for gospel. I let her take a little of my say in the matter by not asking questions and letting her opinion send me into a tizzy. I let her tell me that they'll just send me in for another ultrasound at 34 weeks. Um, no you wont.

So, on the today list:
*chill out with yoga
*do something for someone else
*call a midwife friend
*make something pretty
*be thankful for every not-so-little movement Axel bestows upon me

*edit: I spoke with an amazing midwife who really helped put things into understandable terms for me. She gave me the questions to ask my OB that would give me the answers I am looking for. So I called the office. My Dr. called me back and now I'm back to crying. The placenta is partially covering the cervix. We'll do one last ultrasound at 36 weeks. If there isn't a change, it's surgery for us. At least I know what may be ahead, and still it could go the other way. Hurry up and wait, story of my life. I need to get through this and enjoy the remainder of my pregnancy. It's no good for little Axel to have a weepy mama.

update

My baby is officially a Kindergarten Grad. His class celebrated with a pool party and potluck. I did not cry, can you believe it? Mostly, because I am so darn excited to have him home for the summer! Or maybe the fact he's officially a grade-schooler in August just doesn't seem real. He's a great kid and he's grown and really blossomed in the last year. He's reading, loves math and has the most beautiful imagination. The other night he drew a story board for a movie he wants to make called "The Red." I'd tell you what it's about, but trade secrets you know...

Spanky and his best buddy Natty on Crazy Hair-Pajama Day. Shauna and I tag teamed the matching outfits and I cut the pants a wee bit big, so they'll be twins for at least the next year!

I finally finished my little niece's birthday gift! She'll be one on the 10th, but she's a very petite girl, so this is probably going to be huge. All three pieces are from Simple Sewing for Babies and Toddlers. There's the dress, with 'pocket buddy'--a little kitty attached with a ribbon, so he'll never get lost. Then there's the kerchief, which can be used as a bib or head covering. Finally the 'bloomers', but to me it's a diaper cover, bloomers should have more of a leg. Can't wait to see pictures of her in them!
Last week's YW lesson was about being a positive influence and used the analogy of being a light unto the world. I made the girls a hand out and check out the supplies:
*upcycled baby food jars: free
*one spool ribbon: 99 cents
*one sheet scrap paper: 50 cents
*tea lights: $2
*misc.: glue dots, copy paper
total of ten handouts
Pretty good for $3.49 and 30 minutes work, huh?

I figured out a little secret for busting out of that slump I was in...new supplies. Man I love this fabric. This is Axel's six yards of fabric, washed, pressed and waiting for me to transform it into fun baby things. But first I made a list of all 14 projects from the 3 books pictured that I really wanted to make. I sorted them into priorities and placed the projects that can be made with scraps last. This prep work helped me to complete the first 4 projects and get half way done with two others, this week! That's on top of having extra daycare kids, mind you---and no, I didn't turn the TV on so I could sew, I mostly worked at nap time. I'll be sharing all of the projects when they are done in one post.

Other things I did this week:
*Wished I had a cute pink and white waitress outfit with a name tag reading Flo. I was in the kitchen a lot this week. Wished I had Mel to do the cooking.
*Drove my MIL crazy with cloth diaper conversations.
*Dropped a lot of stuff, like a whole can of peach juice across a newly mopped floor and a full glass of Cream Soda across a newly cleaned counter. At least I'm not falling down. Yet. Knock on wood.
*Started waking up at 2:30am in addition to the 4:30am potty breaks I've been having for weeks, yay! Who need's sleep?
*Saw Up last Saturday. Cried like a baby at the beginning and end, fell asleep for 10 minutes in the middle. No more 2pm showings for me, I was just too tired. It was a really good movie though.
*Saw Land of the Lost last night. Yes, it was dumb (but funny) and really not appropriate for my 6yo (language mostly.) BUTT, I totally love Will Ferrell, LOVE him. Can't help it. I see his face and start laughing (I'm sure he'd appreciate that.) Also, I wanted to see a movie that wouldn't make me cry. So far this summer I have blubbered in almost every movie we've seen. So if you don't think Will is the most hilarious person on the planet, watch the preview online and there, you've seen the most funny parts of the movie and saved yourself some cash.

*Last but not least: I finished Sacajawea! Woohoo! Great book, I just slowed way down at the last few chapters.

I'm off to Pregnancy Stretch class...enjoy your weekend!

grateful for...

...the opportunity to teach some seriously wonderful teenage girls at church. They teach me so much by their examples. I am so excited for their bright futures.

...a hard working husband. He's interviewing for a second job right now. He takes such great care of us.

...a little boy who loves to learn. I pray for the ability to help him continue to grow his reading and math skills this summer.

...tiny kicks. This little one in my tummy is tough and wants to make sure I know it! I love those reassuring tumbles and turns.